Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
