Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
It's shark week go big or go home
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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