you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
