She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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