Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize