I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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