Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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