nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
