I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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