So drunk, too bad you don't want this
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
