some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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