The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
