I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize