My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
