One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The struggles of a small town man whore
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
