You smell like a Billy Joel song
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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