this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
