Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
