I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
