oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
