there was a trapeze. enough said
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
