you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
