Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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