positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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