epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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