He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
