you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have fence marks all over my body
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
