how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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