mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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