sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
