i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
