not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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