i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
