so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
