She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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