O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
