i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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