Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
