wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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