there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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