Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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