Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
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