Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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