i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
All I want is dick and wine.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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