Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Is it penis luge time yet?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I still have a little drunk in my system
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
