There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize