i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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