i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
