You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
