there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
