I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize