Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
