i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
