he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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