I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Randomize
