If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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