i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
