Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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