I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
