Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
