Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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