You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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