well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
