She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
So apparently I’m into choking now
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