yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
