think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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